Darunia

GORON CITY, HYRULE--In recent news from the Goron war front, the mighty Goron war machine has been almost entirely handicapped in its grand, glorious campaigns due to a crippling war against a computer virus. The Goron Imperial Army has been rendered virtually immobile for several weeks now, the Goron ambassador to Tendo City reports. "His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Darunia S. Goron XIV, wishes his loyal comrades at Tendo City to know that the war carries on, albeit not well," the ambassador told this correspondent at an interview in his Tendo City embassy. Putting down a warm plate of molten rocks, he continued, "but his majesty is growing concerned. The virus assumes the identity of a "kernel32.dll" file, and even now it grows in power. The Goron Army is hapless against a foe which will not fight in a conventional manner. This virus," the ambassador said even as he began to choke on tears, "it does not fight conventionally---it cannot be reasoned with. First, it just prevented us from using the Start Up menu in Windows... then it gave us all these bogus error messages. Then, the internet---we can get online, but neither AIM nor Internet Explorer function. Some programs, like Winamp, work normally; others, like Paint and JPeg-viewing programs freeze when used. It...it's just not human." The ambassador broke down at this point and the interview was terminated. On the war front, the Goron casualties continued to mount on Tuesday; numbering well into the tens of thousands. The Goron II Imperial Army was swiftly defeated by the Virus forces yesterday, and the war effort grows dim. If things continue as such, the hard drive will either need to be formatted, or worse, a new computer will need to be purchased. His Imperial Majesty sends his heavy-hearted greetings to the Tendo City establishment, and wishes them all well.
-------BARRY

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H.R.M. DARVNIVS MAXIMVS EX TENEBRIS EXIT REX DEVSQVE GORONORVMQVE TENDORVM ROMANORVM ET GRÆCORVM OMNIS SEMPER EST

OB1

...

alien space marine

Thats his way of saying that he got a computer virus and thats why he haisnt been around the last few weeks.

To bad he missed my Goron hate propagonda.

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Great Rumbler

I hate computer viruses.

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Sometimes you get the scorpion.

Geno

Yes, Darunia likes to make announcements in the form of news reports. That way, he can boost his ego in the third person.

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Dark Jaguar

So ASM, you are saying you are against hating gorons?

Isn't that cute? Widdle Dawunia's pooter caught a cold .

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"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

Great Rumbler

I can kind of sympathize with Darunia on this, my computer got a virus and I went through AT LEAST 11 kinds of hell getting it fixed.

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Sometimes you get the scorpion.

UltraMarioMan

Excelent time to send in my Atomic Chimp armys.. *Guy comes out and whispers something to UMM* What do you mean its Chimp mating season and they're all doing it??!!

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alien space marine

Darunia gave his computer a STD

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Great Rumbler

Hahahaha...hahaha...haha...ha...seriously?!

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lazyfatbum

"He can boost his ego in the third person."

hahahaha, like a 'Family newsletter'

Dark Jaguar

A family newsletter? What kind of arse would come up with something like that?

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"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." ~ Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

Geno

My computer might have a virus, it's been acting screwy lately. I haven't had to reformat it in over a year, but it may have to be reformatted again soon.

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alien space marine

You need norton anti virus.

I had a trojan horse once , It kept deleting my D: drive and I had to keep reinstalling it so I could install norton anti virus.

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Darunia

*Shakes head unapprovingly*

I try to let you folk know what I'm going through in a cute, creative manner---and I'm an egotistical idiot, to be mocked for my troubles. I'd expected best wishes and sympathy, and I get STD jokes and the likes. None of you know that beneath the Goron TC-façade I wear here, I have the lowest fucking self esteem of anyone I know. Far be it from me to enjoy a funny mock identity at a small-time videogames forum. In some aspects, perhaps having gotten this virus was for the better---it's given me a vacation from you. You people really do suck sometimes.

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Darunia

Really disappointing.

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Great Rumbler

Darunia, people aren't laughing AT you, they're laughing WITH you! Yeah...that's it.

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Weltall

It's the mock identity everyone's making fun of. Nobody knows who the hell you really are.

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Help us to upgrade Tendo City!

lazyfatbum

(small-framed boy living with parents who plays Stratego in his underwear by himself)

UltraMarioMan

Weltall...your sig scares me...

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geoboy

I should get one of those. But then people would be able to see all the gay music I listen to.

At least Darunia's self-esteem isn't so low that he resorts to ripping on himself like I do.

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alien space marine

Darunia we were only joking, Look white fleck got teased on his birthday so your not alone.

My teasing has more to do with the fact you offended my most basic spiritual beliefs.

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Undertow

I'm the only one on the forums that knows his true identity.

:clap:

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Laser Link

ASM, how do think continually abusing someone because they disagree with you will ever win them over to your point of view? It's not a good strategy for any kind of disagreement, let alone something like God. Why would somebody want to be like you when you act like that? Joking is fine, just don't turn it into a personal vendetta.

EdenMaster

Shiggy caught a virus too. It's called DANCE FEVER!

:shiggy2:

*ahem*

My condolences for your computer woes. I myself had some trouble a while ago, the power supply literally fried itself...quite noisily I might add. I know the plight of viruses, the fear of not knowing if your hard drive contents will be there the next time you sit down at it. Good luck.

As for the mockery you recieve here, I don't think any of us wish you any ill will. We're simply having some fun with you, and as Weltall pointed out, we know nothing about you. You've told us for years that you are Darunia, King of Gorons, and that is the only way we know you. I don't think you can really get on us for messing with you when we're really just joking with your internet persona.

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Darunia

*Caresses chin, interestingly*

I...swear that....I closed this thread...

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EdenMaster

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lazyfatbum

alien space marine

Darunia has a vendetta agiast all of us who are not athiest.
I was joking mostly about everything in my sig.

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Laser Link

And Islam teaches that by killing a non-believer you will be assured a place in heaven. Does that mean that Christians should start bombing every mosque we see? I remember reading that Jesus said something like "Love those who hate you", and I don't thinK Darunia really hates Christians. He's got his opinion and he is sick of people who disagree trying to shove their beliefs on him and attacking him the whole time. It seems to be the most common (and most wrong) technique people use, and I have no idea where this started. It's completely against what Christ did, but it's what Christians are known for.

I'm not trying to beat you down over this, because we all mess up and do stupid, mean things. But I am trying to encourage you to think about what you are doing and how you are living and see if it agrees with what you say you believe. Your goal should be to strive to know God more and to live a life that pleases him. Christianity is not about fire insurance for after we die. It's about living life to the fullest NOW. Take time to read the Bible and ask God for help- he will. We can't be perfect, but that doesn't mean we have an excuse for not trying. Think about it, kay?

lazyfatbum

Christians force beliefs just like anyone else who forces any other opinion. When you have an opinion on something that you want people to agree with you on, you get really ambitious about it and you start to preach it like it's more than opinion. The result is basically someone forcing their ideas on someone else in order to feel justified for having the opinion in the first place.

A true believer and someone who is confident in their faith (in religion or otherwise) will not force their ideas on someone else. In contrast, it's actually difficult to convert to Judaism since most temples will try to persuade people not to convert. This is done soley for the reason of making sure that the people who come to temple have faith in their beliefs, not searching for faith, as is the case for most christian-base religions.

All people should follow the example of Jesus, not for his faith but his teachings, but that is a harsh reality not many can surrender to. Love my enemy more than my friend? Shit. I cant imagine living like that. Neither can the rest of the world.

alien space marine

I can understand that some people have given Darunia bad experiences and thats why he hates christians, I wish he would see not all of us are like that.
Your right it is human nature to push your opinions on other people thats why people fight over Democrat and republican or Hockey vs Football.

The reason I had taken it out at Darunia is because pushed his opinions on me in the debate forum.

But maybe I will stop making fun of him.

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lazyfatbum

*angel gets wings*

OB1

There is nothing in the Quran which states that killing a non-believer will get you a place in heaven. That is what Islamic extremists believe in, and they twist the writings around to suit their twisted cause. Much like the Christians during the Crusade, I might add.

A Black Falcon

True, but it is true that the main Muslim prophet is Mohammad -- a violent, warmongering imperialist. Quite different from Jesus. Of course when you think how Christians have ACTED they're about the same, though...

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OB1

Muhammad did kill men, but it was always in self defence. During his thirteen years in Mecca, he and his followers edured incredibly violent persecutions, and many of his followers were killed. Muhammad fled from place to place, and his persecuters always followed him. The people who persecuted him were incredible savage. They would go from village to village, slaughtering people and taking their women and children captive. It was only after thirteen years of persectution, from fleeing from these people that Muhammad took up arms and defended himself and his people. The people who were after him would kill all of the men and take the women and children as slaves, and it wouldn't have ended.

lazyfatbum

I also read something that Islam countries teach that by killing someone who is against Muhammad, you get in to heaven. The people they kill are called 'Infidels'.

But man, having the 70 virgins and all the steaks I can eat... after I die, sounded really awesome.

Laser Link

OB1, I think you may be wrong about this. I have heard all the PC people saying that Islam is just a wonderful thing and the suicide bombers are just radicals who twisted things to their own ways. And all of that has come after 9-11, when people were so afraid of backlash against Arabs and Muslims here. However, I have heard from other people who have lived in Muslim countries or have Muslim friends who have said the opposite. I did a quick search on google and found site of both opinions, both claiming the other guys took everything out of context, and I could see the point both were making. One quote that jumped out at me that I never saw refuted was this:

"The believers who stay at home??apart from those that suffer a grave impediment??are not the equals of those who fight for the cause of God with their goods and their persons. God has given those that fight with their goods and their persons a higher rank than those who stay at home ..."

That says to me that you are encourage to kill nonbelievers if you want better rewards after you die. Now maybe it too is taken out of context and it is in truth analogous to draft dodging, I don't know.

You say that he only killed out of self defense, but I haven't read anything like that. What I've read, and never found refuted, is that he tortured people who wouldn't convert to Islam.
And yes, I know of the examples of the Crusaders and the Conquistadors, and all the other people who have done the same. My point is that this is Muhammad. the prophet. Not the people who claimed to be followers who just twisted the truth to their own desires. It is completely contrary to Jesus' examples, even when faced with torture and death. When the soldiers came to arrest Jesus, Peter attacked them. But Jesus told him to stop, and then healed the man who had come to arrest him. (Mathew 26:50-54)

And to top it off, those who really did follow him lived the same. Later when the Jews were hunting and killing the first of what we now call Christians, they didn't fight back. Stephen was stoned, and he prayed for the people who killed him (Acts 7). THere are countless examples int eh New Testament of people who believed in Jesus being tortured and killed for this belief, and not once did they retaliate. History is full of similar examples, like the Roman emporors who would capture every Christian they could find, and not just kill them, but throw them into collisiums to be destroyed by lions, or burned at the stake, or whatever else they could discover. That is true history, and whether you want to believe the Bible or not, you have to admit that is the truth.

And if you still don't believe me, what about the places today like China, Tibet, Nepal, or ANY Muslim country where it is illegal to be a Christian? If you are found you are thrown in jail or killed. Read this or this for more. Tell me again that Islam promotes peace and goodwill to all. That seems a little different from the US, which was based on Christian beliefs and the desire for everyone to have freedom of religion. Muslims are not hunted and killed here. Budhists are not. Followers of the Baha'i Faith are not. Atheists are not. You can believe what you want, and are free to disagree and have talks likes this. In many parts of the world, I would be killed for saying what I am now. Possesion of a Bible means prison. But do you ever hear about Christians who rebel and kill police or soldiers because they were being persecuted. If Muhammad really believed what he claimed, that Martyrs for Allah will receive paradise, then why did he fight. The sites that do say Islam promotes peace are quick to point out that they believe that matyrs will be greatly rewarded- but you can't be a martyr if you attack others. But here Muhammad is fighting back to defend himself. To me that doesn't add up.

On the other hand, I know people who live in China and Nepal, in Muslim countries, who are trying to tell these people about Jesus. Not because they feel have to for salvation. Not because they want to conquer or control these people. But it's because they love them. They are willing to give up EVERYTHING - computers, video games, tv, movies, the entire American lifestyle and all the great things we enjoy - to tell these people the good news that they can be free. And even though it is illegal and the price they pay if caught is high, Christianity is growing exponentially in these places. Christianity is not a Western idea. The largest church for many years was in South Korea at around 70,000, but now Christian churches in Africa (Etheopia, I think, but I can't remember of the top of my head) are hundreds of thousands of people in size. They have services all day every day. And despite the best efforts of leaders all around the world, Christianity is growing and growing. Why? These people were not rasied with these beliefs. It is not part of their culture. So why suddenly turn away from how you were raised and all that you ever believed, risking death in the process?

I've said this many times, but it is so often misunderstood that I need to say it again. Christianity is not about going to heaven instead of hell. That's a fantastic thing, but that puts the whole emphasis on dying. In truth Jesus says "I have come so that you may have life, and have it to the full." It's about living life now. It's about a reason to get up in the morning, it's about something that will FINALLY satisfy the deepest hole in your life that you've tried to fill with everything else but you still feel empty. I didn't understand this until a few years ago, and my life has changed completely. Call me insane or delusional or whatever else. I know that I used to be miserable even though I've been a Christian all my life. I know that I hated life, I felt worthless and stupid, and I felt there was no hope for anything better. I did all the good things that religion is all about - like not swearing or lying or getting into trouble. Basically being a boring loser with no life and no fun. But it didn't do anything for me and I was still miserable. And then I finally gave in to God and let him be the friend and savior I needed, not the Big, Angry Diety in the Sky I thought he was. And everything changed. For me it wasn't an overnight thing, but consistently everyday I grow closer to God. I love talking to God because it's not a duty anymore. I love reading the Bible because it encourages me to strive to better myself to honor God and serve others. No, I'm not perfect yet, but the great thing about God is that there is always grace. Grace to forgive and grace to change.

Anyway, I was never intending to go here when I said that. It was an example off the top of my head. I was only trying to say that revenge is not the answer. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Maybe you've seen that on a bumper sticker- I know I have many times. And judging by the other stickers that tend to accompany that one, it's someone who thinks they are making a point to Christians, not even realizing that it is the core of what Jesus was about. I was only trying to encourage ASM to think about it for a second, because it is so easy to react out of anger.

It is human nature to react and get offended when others hurt or insult you. That is why you always hear about Christians protesting something or whining about something. But the thing is, Jesus has the power to set you free from human nature. Paul talks about it a lot in Romans 8. "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires." and a few verses later: "You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you." Basically, it's saying that everyone lives by human nature, which wants to please itself. Me first, looking out for number one, I do whatever seems right to me... Maybe you will disagree, but I think that is the basis of everything that is wrong with the world. Why does somebody steal? Because they care more about themselves than the one who they are robbing. Why do people murder? Because they want to satisfy their own desires regardless of the consequences it has to anyone else. It's even evidenced in little things like not wanting to do your chores.

Maybe you don't even think it's a big deal cause you haven't done anything too bad. But haven't you ever gotten so angry about something that youlost control? Maybe for a second, or a minute, or maybe you were angry with the world for a week. And every time you seem to get more angry or you get frustrated about things that never bothered you before. You guys know it's true! That's because you don't really have complete control over your actions and thoughts. I hated being a slave to human nature, and now that God controls my life, I don't have to be. Now sometimes I mess up and turn away from God, but then I realize what a mess I've made and he's always there to forgive, even though I don't deserve it.

OB1, from what I have read Baha'i teaches Jesus is one of many messengers from God and that the meaning of life is to know God. "The purpose of God in creating man hath been, and will ever be, to enable him to know his Creator and to attain His Presence." That is awesome! So few people understand that, even people who believe in God. The thing is, Jesus said that he is the only way to God and himself God, not just a prophet. That is not the kind of statement you hear people make every day, and it doesn't fit with the idea that he is one of many prophets. I think you have to make a decision, that either everything he said is true or everything he said is bogus. Because either he was God or he was insane. Have you read the Gospel? I only ask because most Christians don't even read the Bible, and think quotes like "God helps those who help themselves" are scripture. Maybe you have thought about this and spent time studying, but if not I encourage you to do so. Read what Jesus said and look at how he lived and decide for yourself. At least then you will know you have all the facts before deciding. Just think about it, kay?

You guys know I don't bring this up often. I wasn't even trying to talk about it when this all started. I just wanted to give ASM something to think about, because I used to attack everyone who didn't believe the same as me and now I feel very bad about itm because I was a bad example of what Jesus is all about. So that's the only reason I said anything. And I'm only writing this huge core dump because I couldn't stop once I started. I'm not going to force this on anybody else. It's just that there are so many misconceptions about Christianity (created mostly by people who claimed to follow Jesus, but only as a little God-in-a-box to justify their own sin and grant their wishes) and I don't want my friends to never learn the truth- so they can make their own educated decisions for their own life.

It's like the Matrix, guys. I've been unplugged, and I want you to be too. Nobody in the Matrix thinks there is anything wrong- they don't know any better. I can't prove it to you. You have to take the red pill and find out for yourself. I don't claim an easy life or that everything will be perfect from now on. In fact, it's actually the opposite, because now you are a threat. But now you will have the power to overcome, and it's so worth it.

alien space marine

Laser link I am impressed by your knowledge.

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